I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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