yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
This house was built for laser tag.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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