Are we in a gay sports bar?
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
your room smells of hookers.
And success
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
