I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize