wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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