woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Drunk is not a location!
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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