You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Randomize
