What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
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