Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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