May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
You're breaking my sexual little heart
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
