What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
