I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
