Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
