I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
