do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
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