my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Randomize
