ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize
