I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Randomize
