Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Randomize