Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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