Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize