Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Randomize
