I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Randomize
