And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
