A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
