the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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