all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Randomize
