Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Randomize
