yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
