I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
