You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Randomize
