Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
