Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
