She is in my trunk
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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