i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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