No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
