So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
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