They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
