He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
