Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
God I need to hump something, right now.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
