we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
