And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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