umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
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