Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
