2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
