I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
