winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
