my vag is so smooth its legendary
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Randomize