Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize