i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
