Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
