He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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