Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
