i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
