I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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