i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize