so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
honey bunches of taint.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
