Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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