I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
