I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Randomize
