Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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