She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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