I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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