A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Can I color on your dick again?
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
