I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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