i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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