Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
The struggles of a small town man whore
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
