My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
