her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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