So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Randomize
