You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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