..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
