u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
