You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
