it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Randomize
