Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
