He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
