...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
