party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
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