i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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