I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
