i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
