wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
